tears.

We all have those days where we're sad, we're disappointed, its an off day, something has happened, and tears may fall. I feel like i've been on this crazy rollarcoaster recently, filled with times of over thinking and worrying, steep climbs that sometimes lead to nothing, and fearing the truth.

I've thought about it lately, and it just feels like i don't have that sense of belonging yet. I feel like an alien sometimes, as if I'm from another planet or something. Something doesn't feel right. It might be my fault for not having a close core group of friends, or maybe its just that no one finds interest in me? I've talked to others about it, and they've all said to be myself and to have a bit more confidence in myself. And I'm trying so hard. Be myself. If you like it, cool, if you don't, then thats cool too.

I just don't know how to handle it. Maybe I'm just expecting too much? I honestly don't know what the problem is.

Tears. Okay, im not crying, but i know that we're all going through something, whether it be the stress from school and university, or problems with parents, no one is living the perfect life.

God sees these tears. Whether they may be the ones falling down your cheek, or the ones from the heart. He has gone through all this, and he knows exactly how it feels.

Yes, maybe i don't feel like i fit, maybe I'm just the odd piece in the puzzle, and maybe this isn't where I'm supposed to be. But I honestly love those around me. They are great people to be around, and i love their company. Can they say the same? That i'll never know. I said that I'm scared of knowing the truth. What people truly think about me. I try to think of others instead of myself, if they don't like me, theres not need to hide it, just say it. But i don't know.

Is it just me? I don't know. But what i've learnt this weekend is what's pushing me through. Knowing that God understands, he knows, and he cares should be and is enough for me. Life is worth the living just because He lives. JUST BECAUSE.

This stuff is always crossing my mind. I just had to get it out.

Verse of the day says the rejoice always. Good reminder in this time. I'll keep trying. I don't know what God is trying to teach me here, but I'm willing to listen and learn. Praying he'll speak to me.

verse of the day: Philippians 4:4-7

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.