Lost and Found
"as simple as a hug"
Recently, i havent really had a lot of... outline/structure to these posts. Its like free-write and just type whatever comes to mind. I've been thinking about what to write today, and a few things come to mind.
1. Counting my blessings, being thankful.
2. Friendships.
The past few days at day camp and all, there have been so many things that im thankful for. For one, today we went to Ontario Place, and many many people freaked out over losing kids, keeping them safe, but im thankful that we were all safe.
I also feel like today confirmed that my spiritual gift God granted me is caring. Throughout the day, there were three events that helped me develop these thoughts and finally got me to this point of confirming it.
First of all, during Atom Blaster, where balls are thrown everywhere, shot, dropped, whipped, it can easily be a dangerous place. Looking back now, im really surprised that i was able to drop everything and go to a girl who was crying because a ball hit her eye. But the thing was, she wasnt even from camp! She wasnt one of our kids, but i remember clearly that i stricly threw the balls straight to the ground to get by her side.
The second moment was with Geoffrey. This kid. He's an adorable boy who is always so clueless and never wants to stop playing "double-o-seven". I was put on door duty, to make sure kids do not run off and out of the building. From that view, i was looking up, and i saw him, looking directly at me, pointing to his scraped knee. Just like before, i jumped into "caring mode" and rushed to his rescue. Im thankful that he was so brave when the first-aid person put on the alcohol pad. Im thankful that God kept him safe and no one else got major/minor hurt.
My last experience of the day was on the bus ride home. As we approached church, one of the girls sitting behind me told me that one of the boys were crying. I had someone sleeping on my knee, but thankfully we were close to church so he could wake up and i could tend to the other's needs. I praise God that i brought a box of tissues today. This morning, i feel like i would have a lot of mucus, so i brought a tissue box. I DIDNT THOUGH, but it came in handy when he needed tissue for his tears and the blood.
One of the child pastors complimented me, saying that i would become a good father because i sacrificed myself for another kid's comfort and that was just so great to hear. It also somewhat confirmed the caring gift.
Friendships. Lately i've been struggling with this. This is going to sound horrible, but sometimes i doubt my friends. I think "do they really like me? are they just faking it?" Isnt that just horrid? That's how i think of my friends sometimes. Why is that? Why do i think like that? The past sunday, we heard a sermon about "Life's Great Moments". And included was 3 blessings we should always remind and tell others.
1. i love you
2. im proud of you
3. you are good at what you do
I 100% agree that these 3 things are not said enough in today's society. They just might be the reasons why i've been thinking like this. I honestly try my best to provide these to others. As simple as a hug. I love hugging others. I want to make them feel loved, i want to let them know that im there for them, i'll be supportive, and you can come to me for anything. But sometimes it sucks to not have that seen in return.
In both friendship and relationships, you like to be wanted and needed. I remember watching How I Met Your Mother and they talked about how relationships didnt work out because of that. It feels good to be wanted, to be needed. I honestly feel so lonely sometimes because no one cares, no one wants to talk to me. I have to initiate everything. Sometimes, as simple as a question, or a favour, im so willing to do it because im wanted. A phone call, a text, i love hearing those sounds from my phone because i know someone is thinking about me.
Back to Ontario Place, another one of my kids, Christopher. He showed that he wanted me and he needed me. I was filled with joy whenever we were walking and he'd just run up and grab my hand. Hearing him say "i want to sit with you on the rollarcoaster" was just relief. Someone in the world was thinking about me and cared about who i was. I was important to someone.
Yes yes, i know, God loves me no matter what, and i believe that completely, but i like getting that from others too. My pastor told me that "you can never rely on humans" because they will fail you. Its nature to fall short of expectations. But God never will. He's the greatest example of love.
Being important to someone is so important to me. Again, it makes me feel wanted and needed, and sometimes thats the greatest feeling i can get. Sometimes i just wish and pray that i could get a bit more from my friends. It doesnt hurt to spread the love now does it?
Encouragement (in reference to 2.) i find is so important. As a family in Christ, unity is so significant, it makes or breaks the team. And sadly, i feel like i dont even get that from my family that much either. I get it more from my pastors, my spiritual father and mother. But its okay, i forgive them. We are on different channels, so its harder to understand each other, we have different ways of doing things.
Again, sorry for the lack of structure, and the crazy jumbles. But that's how it is today.
I decided to name my post "Lost and Found" because thats kinda what it is throughout the whole post. I found my spiritual gift, i lost a few pieces of friendship along the way (not the best way to put it), found things to be thankful for.
6Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love,
but a faithful man who can find?
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