Your Final Hours - Waiting in Line (I)

How many more breaths will you take this Lord’s day?

Will you again squeeze my hand 

Or try calling my name?

Sparrows flutter outside your window 

As your Saviour watches you

You slumber and you sleep but your shepherd does not

Leading you in his love with his staff and his rod

You, our family’s matriarch

An entire generation on our tree

A final leaf preparing to fall

99 years long, life finally complete 

You stand here in line before heavenly gates 

No more waiting 

No more sorrow 

No more suffering

How close you are to your Saviour 

Numbered days

Numbered breathes

But life with Him never ends

Full of joy

Full of peace 

Breaths away from eternal rest 

I sing to you

Can you hear me?

The music soothes my soul 

Leanneda the nurse joins in and encourages me

Lying here, did you know?

While I draw this fleeting breath

When my eyes shall close in death 

When I soar to worlds unknown 

See thee on thy judgement throne

Rock of ages cleft for me

Let me hide myself in thee

We’ve moved to a room with

No beeps and no screens

Just your short silent breaths

Uncle plays Psalm 23 

in Chinese at half speed 

Did I know

Did I realize

That you my faithful warrioress

For your children and children’s children

Daily intercede, and daily bless

With His word in your heart

And His word on your lips

On Friday you spoke clearly 

And your final word was His

Would I rather watch you go

As God takes your life? 

Or do I let go of your hand 

And trust His perfect timing?

When where and how

Will you breathe your last breath?

You love me

I love you 

30 years now, how blessed

We squeeze your hand

And massage your feet

We call out pohpoh (婆婆)

Oh, wake from your sleep 

Will you awake, eyes opened

And greet us once more

Or will you open your eyes

To your Lord evermore?

We wait, and I wait

As songs comfort me

It Is Not Death To Die

There is Grace Awaiting Thee

You move your head side to side 

Move your arms here and there 

Good morning? Hello? 

Is somebody there?

On your cross, your grip loosens

It’s wooden and it’s round

But God’s grip on you is stronger 

Never lost, safe and sound

5:25pm, it’s May 18th

You’ve been in the hospital for almost a week

There’s no turning back

Just one way ahead

Towards your dear Saviour

Who died in your stead

He welcomes you warmly 

With pierced hand and feet

You his beloved, His face you will meet 

Till then, I’ll sit here 

With your hand held in mine

No food drink or water 

But tears in my eyes 

I’ve cried and I’ve sobbed 

Several times in your room

While driving

While singing

While thinking of you 

We place on your hand an icy cold cloth 

Unconscious but vigorously, you fling it off  

Will you scold us

Reprimand us

Once more ‘fore you go?

Just utter your voice 

We’ll stop, let us know! 

Men with a bag came to 136 next door

They asked not for a person but if the body was still on the floor

Though your outer self ever so slowly wastes away 

Your inward self is being renewed day by day

At this rate it looks like you’ll outlive my phone

It’s at 8 percent 

and it’s dropping 

Pohpoh, this is the longest I’ve spent with you at once in recent years

Hours uninterrupted 

Life’s busy 

But I’m here,

I’ll stop, I’ll pause, I'll stay and I’ll wait

I’ll sit by your bedside, worse never than late 

How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard 

You were made for the Lord, 

and you are not your own

Though terminally restless

You are loved, you are known

Hydromorphone has been administered 

It’s 6:28pm

Your breathing has softened 

Your body is still 

Your puréed food is cold (it’s pretty gross)

He holds you fast, go on, rest in Him

It’s 7:33 and I’m still singing to you

He Will Hold You Fast

Come Unto Jesus

The King of Love My Shepherd Is

I Am Not My Own

It Is Not Death To Die

He Will Be

When We See Your Face

Christ is Mine Forevermore

He Will Keep You

Will I be told to stop or will I keep singing 

But know God sings over you 

It’s 8:02

Dad’s coming to pick me up now

Sam has made me some food

Why haven’t you gone to your Saviour yet?

I said my final words

Thank you for praying for me

I’ll miss your steamed egg

And when you peeled longan (龍眼) for me 

Rest now

Your favourite grandson,

Jason