Urbana 2015
This was my second time heading to the conference as I went also in 2012, but a major difference this year was that I had an objective in mind - I was hoping to hear and learn about "how to live missionally in a local setting"; yes, Urbana may have a greater focus on global missions, but as followers of Jesus Christ, being a missionary is our identity, it's not only for select people, but ALL are to be on mission. It includes wherever we may be - the workplace, at home, or overseas. I was hoping to learn how to be a better and bolder witness to those around me, and how to live as a disciple-making disciple. Here were some highlights from the week, apologies if it seems all over the place!
Challenged by his Word
There were so many lessons and messages given at the conference, but I think one that has really continued to take root in my heart was from Francis Chan as he talked about living under the authority of God.
Today, the world values to be in control, the word "submission" has been linked to weakness and failure, it's almost despised; but Francis reminded us that it is a GOOD thing to be under God's authority, and perhaps we don't know that because we don't know what good authority looks like in this corrupt and broken world.
We studied Matthew 8:18-34, the story of Jesus and disciples encountering the storm at sea and the two demon-possessed men. In the midst of the raging storm, the disciples had little faith, but Jesus revealed his power as He was the one who calmed the wind and the waves, even the forces of nature submit to Him. With the demon-possessed men, Jesus was the one who called them out of the men, even the demons listen to Him.
Do we realize who we are following? We follow and serve the God who is in control of all things - and being under his authority is the best place to be. Living under his authority means that there is nothing to fear - if God is for us, who or what can be against us?!
Encountering God
The Living God has revealed himself to me in various forms this week - in the word during our morning bible studies, through speakers in the general sessions, but I think two major ways God spoke was through the roommate huddles we shared each night, and through the worship.
I was so blessed by my roommates this year - to see their passion and eagerness to learn and share with one another after a long tiring day; and having huddles for hours even if it was already past midnight. It was so so good to speak truth to one another. Hearing how God spoke to them and how the conference was experienced from three other perspectives every day was encouraging. And I hope we continue to do so - it's a big part of discipleship, to share and teach the word to one another. David Platt challenged me in his seminar to not be a receiver when listening to the word, but to be a reproducer - asking yourself, does the word STOP with you or does it SPREAD through you? I praise God for these brothers and my prayer and hope is that we will continue to fill our everyday conversations with the gospel and with the truth regularly.
From the moment we got on the bus the night of Boxing Day, I couldn't wait to join in worship with 16 000 brother and sisters in Christ - we stepped into different stories and cultures, sang in different languages, and called upon the LORD in unison. But last night I had quite a wrestle in my heart during worship as I heard from the LORD.
Being at Urbana to an extent has been comfortable - it can be so easy to say "yes LORD" and "I will go" because they're all just words; but last night as we approached the end of the conference, I realized that the rubber was about to hit the road as we were about to be sent home and into the mission field. And being called to go is terrifying! After hearing about the different stories of missionaries who were out there in the field, I looked at those around me, and for some reason, certain couples caught me eye - I thought of how if they went on mission together, they would have each other to lean on, whereas I wouldn't have anyone; I'd be alone. I thought of one the speakers and when he shared about how when he was about to leave his missionary friend, he was begged to stay because his friend was the only one there on mission, alone. Although we have the LORD when we're on missions of course, it still made me think of how difficult it could be when one is alone. It lead me to think of those who are in countries where there are high and risky levels of persecution, how much harder it is for them to suffer and serve for the sake of the gospel (and this all the more reason why we need to be praying for the persecuted church!).
"O God, here am I,
send me, use me for your glory
O God, here am I,These lines were repeated over and over in the next song, and these statements in response to God's call were strong, bold proclamations and I kept thinking, "did I genuinely mean these words? was I really ready to surrender and say 'send me LORD'"? Quite frankly, I felt like I should've stopped singing because I didn't want to proclaim it - it implied risk and danger, and required faithful obedience. But as the song went on, I found myself asking God to grant me the ability to surrender so I could truly mean these words. Missions, locally and overseas, is the reason why we're on this earth - God chose us, human instruments, broken vessels to bring forth His Kingdom, and that is a special honour and privilege! By the end of the song, I was able to proclaim (fearfully), but still proclaim the words, ready to hear and take on whatever that would be commanded.
send me, pick me up to write your story"
Sent out on Mission
Going back to my original objective - living missionally in a local setting, I really do feel that as of right now, in this current season of life, I am to stay and live missionally in the community God has placed me in, both at school and at home. I've learnt that so many times, we always try to think of God's absolute and ultimate calling is for us, "is it to be long term missions, it is to incorporate missions into my career"? But I think it's also important to think of the NOW - what is God asking you to do right now? In the next 6 months? How can we be building His kingdom right now?
Urbana 2015 was a phenomenal experience, I praise God that I was able to go and learn, but now it's time to take action. I found myself restlessly sitting in the seats this year as I thought "this is my second time coming and although learning and growing is great, but why am I still sitting here? It's time to go" - and I hope you will also decide to join the mission God has invited you into. O LORD, use me for your glory.
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