Six O'Clock Mornings

Before this week started, I was in a place where I felt so distant from God, a disconnect spiritually. The weeks prior, God had been slipping out of my mind; things were going as per usual, I wasn't stressed, I wasn't worried, and as a result, my dependence on God just disappeared. I knew that I was drawing further and further away from Him, and though being aware of that and praying about it, nothing really changed. I found myself sleeping in, which ate away at my morning devotional time, whether that meant a rushed devotion, or no devotional at all. 

It all spiralled down to a crash last weekend. And in response to prevent it from getting any worse, I took a sabbath on the Sunday, knowing it had to be a weekend of spiritual revival, a time to refocus and reorient myself back to the LORD. Our God is the one who created us in our mother's womb, who loves us so dearly, that even in our weakness and sinfulness, gave His only son to be the redeeming and reconciling sacrifice on our behalf so that we could return and be in and with God - He has been faithful from the beginning, yet here I am, a man of little faith, forgetting about Him, ignoring Him and not spending time with my Heavenly Father! He is jealous whenever my heart is turned to something else, and it was time to repent and return back to Him.

So my action plan? Because I was becoming more and more self-centred in my thinking and attitude, seen in something as simple as sleeping in, I decided to challenge and discipline myself by setting my alarm for 6am every single day this week - in hopes it would give me ample time to spend with God.  

Sounds insane right? But as I look back on my week, i've been extremely thankful for this ambitious goal of mine. To be honest, I didn't exactly achieve it, considering that as the week went by I woke up later and later (I woke up at 7am today) - BUT, I think that ultimately it isn't the time I wake that matters, but rather, the quality time I got to spend with God in the morning. Waking up so early really gave me the opportunity to sit in the Word for as long as I needed, to wrestle around with it, to ask more questions and to dig deeper. I even found myself having "too much time" - and so, I got to read more, enjoy my hot cup of tea, make a hearty breakfast, and just be in the presence of God through scripture and prayer. It almost felt like I was able to take a sabbath before my day even began. 

And five days later, I feel completely different. I feel like i'm in a very good place spiritually, not only because of the 6am wake up calls, but because God has revealed himself so powerfully and so frequently this week that I was truly able to derive joy, not from the things of this world but from the LORD alone because I got to see and experience Him at work in our lives. I got to remember, rejoice and give thanks for how good and faithful He is, has been and will continue to be! To God be all glory, honour and praise.