Final Hours

It's the last day of the year, and I read a devotion from John Piper's Solid Joys that really got me thinking. The devotional said; 

"The 365 days of the year are like a miniature lifetime. And these final hours are like the last days in the hospital after the doctor has told me that the end is very near. And in these last hours, the lifetime of this year passes before my eyes, and I face the inevitable question: Did I live it well? Will Jesus Christ, the righteous Judge, say “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21)?"

So as I looked back on my year, I asked myself - did I live it well? Would I hear the words "well done, good and faithful servant?"

Accordingly to Dictionary.com, 'Faithful' is defined as "steady in allegiance or affection, loyal; constant".

And I don't think i've been faithful. I've found that this past year, i've chosen flesh over faith, and, after catching up with a friend, i've realized that i've sought so hard after validation and approval from others. I've tried time and time again to make sure I had a place in someone's life, I wanted to be important, I wanted to mean something to someone and it bugged me when I wasn't or when I questioned that.

But I was reminded that we can't always be the main characters of the story - we always want to be the ones that are remembered, but at the end of the day, as tiny and insignificant we may seem or think, we are significant and of high worth in God's eyes. He made you and I in His image! He loves you and I so much that He sent His only Son to die on our behalf. Jesus received the punishment that you and I deserved for our sin and rebellion against God and we are forgiven through the shedding of his blood. He rose again on the third day and gives the gift of eternal life to anyone who believes and repents. And that's something worth giving your life up to follow. Giving up your affections and ambitions for - to live in full and faithful devotion to God. And here I was seeking approval and validation from others, seeking to be significant in the eyes of the world when I was already significant in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.

Why was I seeking such temporal things? At the core, it's a matter of unbelief - not believing that Christ was enough, that his promises were true, that he was satisfying, and as a result, I sought after other things thinking that they would be "enough" for me. And this needs to be repented of! Nothing in this world will satisfy you. They may bring pleasure, but it's only for a little while - and in light of eternity, it's just dust.

I was also reminded to live in the light of eternity this morning. My friend shared a Francis Chan analogy of a long rope, where one short highlighted end of the rope represented your life here on earth, from your first to your last breath - and the rest of the rope being eternity. What we do in this life, in this one small section of the rope will affect the rest of eternity - and so we must strive to invest in things above, things eternal and not things of this world, be it control, money, power, or approval.

And so, hours before the new year, I sit here, eating dinner alone, but with a thankful heart because I had a time of worship, a time to be still and come before the LORD as we enter the new year. I thought of my faithlessness this past year, my rebellion, and I asked for forgiveness, and committed this next year with gladness, praying that I would learn to deny myself more for Christ and His kingdom work, to live with eternity in mind. And as the devotional concludes,

"And if we discover that we did not keep the faith this past year, then we can be glad, as I am, that this year-end death is (we hope) only a rehearsal, and a whole life of potential faith-keeping lies before us in the next year."