Waiting on God

In today's culture, everything is fast, quick and immediate - from microwave dinners to social media apps, we, especially those in first world countries are incredibly privileged and blessed to have so much at our disposal. If there's something we want, we can get it. If we're hungry, we eat. If we're tired, we sleep. If we're bored, the Internet is readily at our fingertips with 300 hours of video footage being uploaded to YouTube every hour. In a world where we can have all we want and when we want, what does it means to wait?

I've really been wrestling and pondering over the idea of waiting recently, particularly, waiting on God. 2017 is well underway, and I actually have quite a few major changes coming up in a few months. By the end of April, there's a pretty good chance that i'll have to move out of the house i've been living in for the past 3 years (which has absolutely been an incredible gift from God), and by the end of August, my internship at The Arboretum will end. Where i'll stay, what i'll be doing, is all unknown and as for many of us, especially those in my stage (a recent graduate), we venturing our way through the uncertainty that lies ahead.

Yes, I can confidently say and I rejoice in the fact that my life is in the hands of a sovereign and loving God who is in complete control and will provide as I need (though not necessarily what/how I want) - but what does that mean during that in-between waiting period, that being now, present day, until that next season of life begins?

I'm gonna go on a little rabbit trail here - hopefully the dots connect.

As of late, it seems as if i've been walking through the desert when it comes to my spiritual life and relationship with God - I find myself joyless and bored when I come to scripture in my devotions, and prayer has become a rushed chore-like activity. As I'm waiting for this season to pass, I find myself repeatedly asking the question "why don't I feel joy?", and every time I catch myself - why am I so caught up with a feeling? Will feeling joy suddenly make everything better? Why am I always seeking after something sensational?

It's because we live in a tangible world. The food that we taste, the sights that we see, the music that we hear, the surfaces that we touch, and the scents we smell, everything is an experience. And thus, our lives are made up of these experiences. Now, there's nothing wrong seeking after those things - in fact, many of them are pleasures and delights that God has given us to enjoy!

But the danger is getting caught up in these things. 2 Corinthians 4:18 reads,

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

As I read through this in my devotions a few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit helped me realize that I was getting too focused on things seen. But not only on what is seen, but I find myself caught up in things felt and experienced as well. I think the verse could also go to say that we should fix ourselves not on what is felt, but rather on what is "unfelt".

And so, fixing our eyes upon and waiting on something intangible while living in a tangible world is incredibly difficult.

I'm gonna take it one step further. It's one thing to wait and hear the words "not yet", but it's another to hear the words "not ever". When it comes to work and the housing situation, though I don't know what will happen, I just don't know yet. On top of this, God has graciously given me deeper and greater trials and tribulations (that I must learn to count as joy) to walk through where i'm faced with the words "not ever". In a world of yeses, how does one respond to nos?

It's hard, it's excruciatingly hard. So how do you wait on the Lord when there's something you want but cannot / should not have? You trust that He is better. As followers of Christ, we are called to deny ourselves and take up our cross, we're called to repent from our old and sinful ways and turn to God, we are sharpened by one another and by the Holy Spirit - typical Sunday school answer, but none of that is supposed to be easy, and none of that feels good (at first)!

The problem i'm finding, which i'm sure many of us find, is this - we know all this in our heads, but for some reason, it hasn't made it's way down to our hearts yet. I've learnt time and time again that the heart is slow, it lags behind and needs to catch up (and it will... eventually). But this also goes back to the whole idea of seeking after something sensational - I think that perhaps my idea of my heart catching up is a feeling of joy in obedience and following God, when that feeling is never sustained.

Joy is not a feeling, its a choice - we don't live by felt joy, but by known joy. We have joy because we know that our name is written in the book of life, we have joy because we know that by God's grace we are saved by the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus. We have joy because we know we are justified through Christ and are made righteous before God. We have joy because we know that we are adopted by our Heavenly Father and are called one of his own. We have joy because we know that God has promised to complete the work He started in us, sanctifying us to become more like Christ day by day.

This video was given to me as an encouragement by a good friend of mine. In the video, Matt Chandler speaks on the topic of waiting on God. I hope it encourages you as it encouraged me.

Waiting on God is never easy, in fact, its incredibly difficult. But we wait by remembering what we know, and praying what we know. If we look to Genesis, Abraham, Issac, and Jacob all lived and waited on God this way. God gave Abraham a promise in Genesis 12:1-3 and those words were held onto for generations. It wasn't something tangible, in fact, i'm not sure if it was even written down for them back then! But with great faith, they fixed their eyes on the promise that was unseen, and Hebrews 11:13 tells us that they even died in faith as the promise wasn't fulfilled in their lifetime. And so, just like the patriarchs in Genesis, we wait by reminding ourselves with the truth we know found in scripture, and we hold fast to the promises of God as our hope. We do this with our joy, we do this in the midst of trials; and day by day we learn to wait on the Lord. 

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not be faint.

I'll close with a song to share. God has often used music to remind and encourage me in difficult times. May this song encourage you when you're finding it hard to wait on the Lord.